Private Messate

2008-10-29T01:51:00.000-07:00

Private Messate

Shhhh... don't tell anyone... I'm going to go down on you.
You're going to love it when I'm going down. "Don't stop," I hear you whisper.
But I'm only going to go down until it starts to feel good...
As soon as it starts to feel good, I'm going to shoot back up again and fuck you hard.

Lots of love...

Adult Humour

2008-10-19T01:49:00.000-07:00

Adult Humour

This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome young man doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out to which he
responds, "Sure lady."
They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers, "You know, I have a hot moist pussy."
To which he responds, "You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!"

A man says to wife, "I'm feeling kinky tonight. How about I cum in your ear, baby?"
His wife says, "No way! I might go deaf."
Her husband replies dryly, "I've been cumming in your mouth for twenty years, and you never shut the fuck up ..."

A survey asked women:
"What would you do if you woke up and had a penis?"

Here are their actual responses...

"I would walk around and prod my husband all night long with it, whatever he is doing I'll be there prodding him with it."
"I would write my name in the snow."
"I would go into my boss' office and lay it on his desk and say: 'Where is my raise?'"
"I would find my ex-boyfriend, go to bed with him and tell him to roll over and try something new."
"I would want a big one and show it off to everyone."
"I could grab myself in public and not be embarrassed."
"I would not lift the lid on the toilet seat while peeing."
"I would measure it both ways."
"Pee off of a tall building."
"I would speed to the hospital and have it surgically removed."
"I would treat women better with it."
"I would love him, and squeeze him, and play with it all day."
"Demonstrate to my husband and my two sons that it is possible to hit the water and not pee all over everything."
"Pin my husband down and slap him in the face with it."
"I would play with it and then make him roll over into the wet spot."
"Go to an adult store and try out all kinds of stimulants to see what was the best."
"Stand up and jump up and down and watch it swing all around."
"See how many donuts I could carry with it."
"Check out my boyfriends gag reflexes!"

I was talking to my (now ex) girlfriend on the phone one day

2008-10-15T01:40:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my (now ex) girlfriend on the phone one day
when she suddenly started screaming.. i was wondering why, until she told me that her neice's cat had just diarheed all over the carpet, and her dog and just come and eaten it all- but i guess that's kinda standard..

edit/ oh yeah, and at school today we were trying to recruit people to walk up to her and piss on her head- not because i hate her but because it would be amusing : D

[[*Pretty` Lil Me]]*

Private Messate

Adult Humour

I was talking to my (now ex) girlfriend on the phone one day

[[Pretty` Lil Me]]